Category Archives: Practice

Why Ha-Shem-Not Naming the Divine

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The Shiviti Prayer: I have set the Holy One Before Me Always
The Shiviti Prayer: I have set the Holy One Before Me Always

This lovely carving was given to me when I resigned/retired from being the Administrative Assistant for our congregation Temple Beth El. I was amazed because no one on the Board at that time knew my personal prayer practice, which has involved this prayer for years and years. It was what I call a b’eshert moment.

Beshert means “inevitable” or “preordained.” It can apply to any happening which appears to bear the fingerprints of divine providence, such as bumping into an old friend you were just thinking about.

But it is used most commonly about marriage and shidduchim (“matches”). Singles pray to “meet their beshert,” their life partner, the other half of the broken eggshell with whom they will find love and fulfilment. – Rabbi Julian Sinclair from the Jewish Chronicle‘s article Beshert

When you look at this picture you can see how complex Hebrew prayers and teachings really are. The Hebrew here is textured and layered. The four letters here that are largest are the ones we don’t ever say or even write down without being very careful. There is POWER in naming. Any tribal person will understand this as will all those who have ever named a child or a pet or a business.

So, we don’t mess around when we are talking about the most HOLY name. Because we cannot ever really get our minds around the entirety of a Divine Being, we do something different.

We use the word Ha-Shem which literally means The Name. This reflects the concept in Judaism that you cannot quantify or confine the Divine; unnameable, infinite and vast. Ha-Shem is not like my name or yours. Since the Divine cannot be quantified or qualified, we engage in various ways to describe or connect to the energy of the Divine. This stands in contrast to the idea of the Divine being split into various other beings or forms, but for me and for many others, there is no real contradiction. It doesn’t matter to me what you name or call your Holy Being, what matters is how you BEHAVE in this world and your adherence to goodness and to honoring those on the planet with us. If connecting to Isis or the River Spirits, Vishnu, Buddha, Jesus, Ha-Shem or any and all of the myriad ways Holiness unfolds and comes to each of us, makes you a better human and enables you to love those near you and this beautiful earth, then pray and sing and meditate and praise and delight in that Being or Beings anyway you can.

As Jews, we adhere to the idea of b’tselem Adonai which can be interpreted to mean in the image of the Divine (and much, much more). The word Adonai is used here and is another placeholder word for describing a quality of the Divine. When you need a master or lord, someone who you can turn to to make things change. Many folks reject this idea of a Holy Being who is a lord and master. I know I struggled with it for years. I no longer do. I am so in awe of the Divine and so aware of how tiny I am, there is just no question that I am an agent of Holiness, but not the whole shebang. The BIG BANG or the BIG DIVINE BANG Energy is certainly greater than I am. A great book to read on this topic is God & the Big Bang by Daniel C. Matt.

Adon in Hebrew can be translated as master or lord, so this name for the Holy One is engaged when we pray and are not using the four letter Tetragrammaton name like the letters above. The word Adonai is not that often written out in the Torah. Usually, folks say this word instead of reading the Hebrew four letter name. Please see further explanation of this in the Angel Song article.

Additionally, b’tselem Adonai is an incredibly deep and complex concept, which I hope to expand on more in the future. I love the teaching by Rabbi Gershon Winkler that I heard many years ago from him. He was talking about how everything in our narrative was created before the human was. This is also accurate in terms of evolution. We are kind of last on the list. All the organisms and lava flows and acid rain and amoebas and creatures of myriad kinds unfolded before we did. Rabbi Gershon refers to this idea of b’tselem Adonai as having multiple layers and one of them is that we are in the image of the bear, the tortoise, the slug, the tree, the dolphin, the ladybug etc… Being able as humans to connect with more than who we are, and able to engage with all of creation and to be present with it is an amazing and unique gift. For myself as well, and for others, the flawed translation of Genesis 1:28  that says in English “conquer, subdue, vanquish or rule over” the earth is not only what the Hebrew means.

This is a whole other topic, so I will only say, for now that:

It is our job to be in relationship with and look over and out for all that is on this planet.

It is our job to connect with the frog and the mountain and to find ways to see Ha-Shem and ourselves in those. It is not our job to subdue them or violate them for our pleasures or purposes. Like animals, we need to nourish and sustain ourselves, have safety and home. We certainly have gone beyond our limits on that one.

Returning to an idea of Holiness that is not nameable and that is complex for me is one way to connect to the energy of Holiness that runs through every blade of grass and every moment of my life. When I put boundaries on the sacred and limit it to one kind of parent or one kind of being, I am not in the flow that will empower and link me to ALL of creation and all of what I want to honor and love.

So, all of this to say, I prefer to use the word Ha-Shem or the Holy One or any other myriad kinds of place holders, when referencing the Creator or the Energy of Creation. I don’t even want the words I use to insert a boundary on that which is beyond boundary, so I change it up. The word GOD is just too laden, heavy, connotes a bunch of things I may not mean or want to have associations linked to by what I am saying to folks. When I name or not name differently, that inserts a prompt in the mind and a reminder in mine, what is she talking about? That question is the beginning of a spark that ignites a flame of desire, and wonderment, or at least I hope it does. No, go and study some more!

With huge unnameable amounts of Love and Joy in service to the Giant Holy Being without name,

Nicole

What Kind of Jew are You?

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Open Poppy From Nicole's Deck and Heart, Flower made by The Holy One
Open Poppy From Nicole’s Deck Heart, Flower by The Holy One

I’m a heart opening,
Big Loving,
Always Seeking,
Torah Studying
Kinda Jew

not just a kinda Jew but
a full fledged
big practicing
kind Jew

I’m a never ending
pot o’ soup on the stove
kind of Jew

I’m a complex and
wild woman
mikveh loving and
Mussar loving
kinda Jew

I will
cook for you
pray for you
engage with you
sing for and with you
study with you
discourse with you
kind of Jew

I’m a sit with you
while you are dying
and sing the Shema
over you as you take your last
breaths kind of Jew

I will gently bathe your cold
body and recite love lines from
the Song of Songs
over your limbs and your whole body
I will work with others together and
wrap, gently wrap
you in a shroud
kind of Jew

I’m a start to finish
kind of Jew
I’m a long-winded
and lots to say kind of Jew

I say a blessing
over everything
that goes into my mouth
I say a blessing
when I arise
when I learn of a death
when I immerse
when I study
whenever I have or make time
when I do something for the first time
when I see an old friend

or a rainbow

I pray every day
pretty much all day
in some way

I light candles on Shabbat
I light candles for those
who’ve left this world
or for those
in need of healing

I honor my mother and my father
I strive to honor and be present
for my children, all the children
in my life, not just those I’ve
raised or birthed

I love my husband, my man
who is not a Jew
I love him completely
imperfectly and with all my heart

I’m an observe a lot of commandments
kinda Jew….but not all of them

I’m a wrestle with and dance
with the Divine kinda Jew
and I think
whatever Kind of Jew

I am

I’m some kinda Jew
looking for and
always loving You!

©Nicole Barchilon Frank, February 28, 2014 ~ 28th of Adar I, 5774

The Ten Commandments (and a few more) of Nicole’s Kitchen

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Getting Veggies ready for grilling
Getting Veggies ready for grilling

The Ten Commandments of Nicole’s Kitchen

  1. I am your kitchen Goddess; there are other kitchen Gods & Goddesses, but for the purpose of creating yummy experiences for your self and your guests, you must follow my commandments, and your food will taste heavenly, stray from my directions and your time and effort in the kitchen will have been wasted!
  2. The secrets to a Heavenly Meal are TIME and LOVE. If you invest your time in the meal, and love what you are doing, the meal will be good. If you rush and are resentful or in a foul mood, your food will reflect this.
  3. Think about creating a compost bin in your yard or in a nearby garden if you don’t have a yard. In this way you can take all the discarded food from your kitchen and give it back to the Earth. This returns some nutrients to her. Remember that all you do in your kitchen with food is a result of the gifts the Earth has given you. If you can’t do compost, occasionally give a choice piece of something you’ve cooked to a favorite tree or flower and say thank you to the Earth. Cultivate an attitude of thankfulness and grace with the Earth.
  4. Don’t even think of using any ingredients that aren’t fresh or organic. If you can’t get organic products where you live, encourage your local stores to carry organic produce and foods. It is a far, far better thing you do when you discard a browned piece of lettuce than serve it to a loved one. All salads or greens should be soaked—that’s right soaked—in large plastic tubs of water. Spinach will need to be soaked three or four times; lettuce at least twice; veggies like celery, carrots, green beans, just once. It’s a good idea to have at least two or three plastic tubs marked “VEGGIES ONLY” in your kitchen under the sink or somewhere easily accessible. Organic veggies and products are fresher, healthier, and they taste better!
  5. Your table should always be open to guests as well as family. This means you should aim to create something delicious and fantastic always. You never know who will be walking in the door. When you aren’t in the mood to cook, don’t. This is when you get out the frozen pizza or burrito that you have on hand, or when you make macaroni and cheese.
  6. Get into your food! Wear an apron, make a huge mess, touch everything, smell everything, get very familiar with your food. Make it yours. Love it and kiss it. If you’ve never kissed a ripe tomato fresh off the vine, or if you haven’t peeled a mango with your hands and kissed it and gotten slurpy mango wetness on your face, something needs to change now! There is no judgement here. This is just a playful invitation to create a deeper relationship with your food. GO PLAY!!!
  7. There is no point in trying to create a meal/work of art in a cluttered or dirty kitchen. So, if you are using my recipes, clear your counters first and find a way to have more counter space, not less, for your kitchen adventures.
  8. Keep your knives sharp and have different sizes. It makes everything easier.
  9.  FRESH LEMONS should be available at all times They are essential ingredients in everything I cook.
  10. Give some form of thanks before eating. You can say any kind of blessing you wish or just sit in silence; even if it’s just a brief moment. If you let yourself feel grateful for what is in front of you, it will change every meal you ever eat. The best thing, from a traditional Jewish perspective, is for you to actually acknowledge out loud the Creator for blessing you with the apple, or the rice, or the bread, or the mixed wonders on your plate. There are many teachings about how an essential spark of holiness is dormant in our food, and it cannot be awakened until we acknowledge it and give thanks. I often teach the young children I work with to imagine that inside every grape, inside every drop of food they eat, is a tiny fairy, who is asleep, waiting to do a dance and be free. If they don’t sing a song to her, she won’t wake up. This is a magical explanation, but it helps the children understand that there is something precious in every plant and every fruit, and that they can participate in enriching their food and their food experience. It makes no difference to me how you give thanks. You can imagine a fairy dancing in joy because you’ve awakened her inside your lettuce leaf. You can give thanks for the long journey that same leaf of lettuce has gone on to get to your plate. You can just sit still and recognize how truly lucky and blessed you are to have a full plate. This is your invitation to experience grace, and whichever way works for you will make me happy. And, who knows, I may even do a little dance!

The Expanded or Lesser, but still important, Commandments

  • GET INTO YOUR FOOD! This suggestion bears repeating as all good suggestions do. What you put in your mouth isn’t just stuff or fuel. Every spice and leaf is coming from the Holy One just for you and yours. Grace your food as you would your sacred space. Keep your awareness always with your cooking. Talking on the phone is not amenable to good cooking. I will often clean while on the phone, but I almost never cook and talk to others unless it is to ask them to do something meal related. Concentration in the kitchen yields the truest results.
  • Have fun, take risks except with cooking times of meat or whether ingredients are really fresh! Explore the contours of your taste buds. Try different flavors.
  • At this point in my cooking career I prefer blanching vegetables to steaming. This means having a large pot of rapidly boiling water ready just before the meal is to be served. Put in a liberal amount of salt when the water is close to boiling. Once the water is boiling, put in whatever veggies you’ve cleaned and prepared. They only need to be in the water for 2–5 minutes at most. I have a hand–held strainer handy to fish them out. Place them in a bowl and serve them with whatever dressing or sauce you wish. Always put olive oil on veggies first as it coats the veggies and keeps the vitamins from getting leached out by lemon juice or vinegar. I do all my vegetables this way now. I never steam them. Also, you can save the blanching water to use as a base/stock for your rice or soups. The water will be good in the fridge for about 3 days.
  • Margarine is gross and not good for you so don’t use it. If you can’t use butter, use olive oil or coconut oil.
  • All fish, that you will be cooking, should be soaked for ½ an hour or more in a large bowl of very salty (at least 2 tablespoons kosher salt) water. You will be amazed at the gunk that is left in the water. Rinse the salt water off and then marinate or cook. Do not use a plastic bowl or bucket for this. Plastic retains the flavors, odors, and smells of all it comes in contact with. If you are cooking in the summer, you can put ice in the bowl; otherwise it’s fine to keep the fish on the counter in a large stainless steel bowl full of cold salted water while you are preparing the marinade.

Row, Row, Row your boat gently down the stream
Rinse, Rinse, Rinse your Rice ‘til the water runs clean
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily life is but a dream
Merrily, Merrily, Merrily your rice will be a dream

Other standards in Nicole’s kitchen:

  • never–ending bottle of organic olive oil (cold pressed or first pressing)
  • Mirin (Japanese cooking wine)
  • fresh garlic
  • fresh ginger
  • lemons, lemons, lemons, hmm let me see, more lemons!
  • fresh herbs/spices; throw away the stuff in your spice cabinet that is over a year old. Buy spices in small amounts from the bulk bins at your health food store. There is a greater turnover in the spice bins so the spices/herbs from there are much fresher.
  • Le Creuset cookware, worth its weight in gold and almost that expensive, but it will be around for your grandchildren. I have used Le Creuset every day for the last 20 years and will be using the same pots in my 90’s if I’m given that long to live. Also, it’s a good idea to own one really solid large cast–iron pan, which will never come in contact with soap.
  • A LOVE OF EXCELLENCE!

©by Nicole Barchilon Frank from her Cookbook (in final editing stage)

Divine Delights
Persian, French & Sephardic Savors from the Kitchen of
Nicole Barchilon Frank

Surgery Support: Pre and Post Lists for Optimal Recovery

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Tigger offering support holding up injured foot and loving hands holding foot before surgery
Tigger offering support holding up injured foot and loving hands holding foot before surgery

Pre and Post Surgery Mama Nicole Tips and Protocols:
(For Out Patient Surgeries)

Pre-Surgery:

  1. Cook up several soups and have them frozen and on hand in freezer.

  2. Get ice before you have surgery so it is ready to use in the ice machine for home use. If you don’t have this machine, buy it from the surgery center or on-line BEFORE you go to surgery and bring it with you. It absolutely is worth it. Make sure you bring the ice machine with you to surgery and let the staff know so they will pack your injured area in the correct way directly following surgery. You can also liberate a cooler from somewhere in your closets and keep ice in the cooler on hand if your freezer is too full.

  3. Schedule friends to cook meals and do errands for you ahead of time, ask a friend to do this for you so you don’t have to think about it and just tell them you want one, two or three meals a week delivered and let them handle that for you. Make sure you have a simple list of food allergies or preferences that you can email or give to folks, also coordinate picking up and dropping off times ahead of time.

  4. Have house cleaners or friends come right before your surgery and perhaps schedule them an extra time during your convalescence. Important to have really clean home when healing.

  5. Have massages and acupuncture scheduled within one day of surgery. Moving the blood through your body will help the toxins from general anesthesia move through and out of your body. Good practitioners will come to your home for the first week post surgery since moving you is not a good idea. If people want to help you and don’t know how ask them to donate $ for these services. If a lot of friends chip in, it won’t be too much for you or your primary partner to cover.

 What to Pack on the way to Surgery:

  1. Ice Machine and all the parts connected to it.

  2. Organic apple juice or sparkling cider to drink in the recovery room when they offer soda or something sweet which will have corn-syrup or other chemicals and not be what your body really needs, but it is important to have something to drink that is sweet to help your body adjust and wake up. Have your preferred drink ready and tell the nurses this is what you want instead of whatever they will offer you.

  3. Some nuts or crackers that are for post surgery also, dried fruit or sliced apples with some lemon and cinnamon on them. The lemon and cinnamon will delight your taste buds and help you emerge from the post surgery fog/misery.

  4. Stuffed animals, pillows, scarves, or whatever you need around you to feel safe and comfortable in the vehicles you will be traveling in.

  5. Water bottle

  6. Rescue remedy for yourself and your care-giver.

  7. Music device or phone with play list and smaller ear-buds for during surgery. You can also record positive affirmations to have playing during surgery. This is really important and will also help you recover.

  8. Favorite essential oil to help soothe and calm senses before and immediately after surgery.

  9. Small nice bag with little notebook for medicine journal so you can write down when next pain pills can be taken and record all your medicines in one place instead of on various scraps of paper or on your electronic device, which may run out of juice or battery or whatever and not be handy when you need to know. This journal and bag will live next to you on the bed at home and all your vitamins and medicines will be in it, so they are in one place. The bag can hold also the essential oils and rescue remedy or homeopathic remedies you may be using.

On the Way to Surgery:

Remember to breathe and be sweet with whoever is your companion. Repeat positive affirmations like: “My surgery will go well and I will recover fully.” “Everything is going to be good. I am safe and in the hands of good doctors as well as the Holy One.” If you want to sing the angel song, surrounding yourself with angels on all sides, this is a great and calming thing to do on the way to surgery. Prayer of any kind or songs or music that is calming. Less talking and just holding of each other and calm energy are the best way to prepare. There is an excellent book out now called Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster by Peggy Huddleston that you may want to look into.

Immediately following Surgery, waking up:

Remember there is a wide variety and continuum for how people emerge from surgery. Some folks fall on the very far end and it is painful, confusing, scary and hard for them. These folks will need to have some food and drink available to help them ground as soon as possible, also perhaps something that smells really good, like a lavender dream pillow or essential oil that they love. Holding hands or touching the person as much as you can will also help.

Four Worlds/Layers of our Souls, Tu B’Shevat Meditation

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A Holy Table to Meditate on

This teaching is a tiny seedling of a much greater tree. Below are the meditations that I wrote to help lead my part of an event.  The instructions below were part of a ritual meal of fruit and wine and between each section here there were other teachings about each individual glass of wine. I will upload those in the future and post an update to this article when I have that information.

Tu B’Shevat is a Jewish holiday that honors the first rising of the sap in the trees. Folks usually gather and celebrate fruits from trees and also plant trees at this time. We celebrate the holiday in various ways, but one of the things we do is to have a special meal called a Seder. Seder is a Hebrew word that literally means order. It is also a Middah. The Seder is an ordered/ritualized series of blessings over wine and fruit. One of the beautiful things about this meal is that nothing is killed for it. All that you consume is something that is a fruit, including the wine. It’s an opportunity to just receive without having done anything other than be lucky enough to live on this planet full of wondrous plants and trees who offer their fruits to us.

Four Worlds Meditation and Blessings for Tu’B’Shevat:

A note on Blessings. In our tradition between the blessing and the action of the blessing, there needs to be nothing else. The blessing is a link between the world of Ha-Shem, the world of Holiness and our actions in this Assiyah world. We say a blessing then we do the action. We do not speak or do other things between the two. This practice requires conscious effort and tonight, we invite you to practice this with us. Our teachings and thoughts will come before each blessing, followed by some silence then the blessings, then the action of either eating the fruit or drinking the wine.

Assiyah: World of Physicality

Yitzirah: World of Emotions

Beriyah: World of Intellect

Atzilut: World of Spirit

Assiyah: World of Physicality~Earth My Body

World of action, physical world represented by earth and the season of Winter. We eat fruits with hard outer shells and soft insides such as: pomegranates, walnuts, almonds, coconuts, pistachios, chestnuts, hazelnuts, Brazil nuts or pecans. In Winter we layer ourselves in clothing to protect our bodies. The fruit is similarly covered in a shell. Removing the shell, the klippot, exposes the fleshy vulnerable inside. The shell conceals and protects. As we Bless and experience this first fruit of our Seder, be conscious of the shell of the nut and the shell that holds your insides and protects but also covers your essence. Quietly take five fruits of this kind, at least one of which has a shell. In your left hand hold the hard shell closed nut. In the right hand hold the fruits you will bless and eat. Be still with each as we breathe and I will lead the blessing which you have in front of you so you can join me or you can stay in the silence and just say Amen and then eat your fruit.

Yitzirah: World of Emotions~Water my Blood

The most vulnerable world of formation from our physical to our emotional. This is the place of our inclinations to be creative, to feel, to be moved by what is without and within. We speak and sing and dance and create from this place. This world is represented by water and the season of Spring. We remove some of the layers as we draw closer to the Holy Heat Source as well as the physical changing of the seasons. We can expose ourselves and not be injured in the doing if the climate is right. We eat fruits that are soft on the outside with hard pits on the inside. We remember that even though we can be creative and feel and speak and sing we still have a hard pit inside, part of it is our personal ego, part of it is the seed that connects us to the Divine and it is protected and hidden. We eat fruits such as: Olives, dates, cherries, persimmons, apricot, plums. As previously, please take five fruits and put one with a pit inside in your left hand and the others in your right hand as we breathe and prepare to bless and partake of these fruits.

Beriyah: World of Intellect/Creation~Air my Breath

This is the world of creation and thoughts and our Lev Mind, our shared heart/mind. The element is air and the season is summer. In this realm, we have let go of our shells and our hidden inner shell or pit. We are soft and safe and vulnerable as well as whole and cared for and can be experienced whole. We are at one with each other and with all of creation. In this place we do not notice the distinctions so much as we recognize the UNITY that runs throughout all of creation and all of us and we partake of that unity completely. We are integrated. We eat fruits that are edible entirely, figs, apples, raisins, pears, quince. Hold some of each of these fruits in each hand as we breathe and bless and partake of these fruits.

Atzilut: World of Spirit/Emanation ~Fire my Spirit

This realm is a purely spiritual one. The season is Fall, when all is ripe. This world cannot be represented by any fruit, it can be experienced through our sense of smell perhaps and our memories as well as by our inner linking and awareness of The Holy One’s love, mercy and wisdom. We can engage in prayer for this fruit from the place of our praise of the Source which renews all of creation continually. With both hands open hold your empty but full hands and be present as we breathe and partake of the spark of emanation that is not in physical form that we can see and touch but which is nevertheless present in our palms and in our hearts and in this moment.

Blessings For the Tu b’Shvat Seder:

כאשר אני מברך, יהי רצון שאהיה צנור להשפיע חיות לכל הנבראים– ואף לדומם, צומח, חי, ומדבר.

Ca’asher ani m’vareich, y’hi ratzon she’eh’yeh tzinor l’hashpiya chiyut l’chol hanivra’im – v’aph l’domeim, tzomeiyach, chai, um’dabeir.
When I make this blessing, may I become a channel for renewed divine energy to flow through me and go out to all creatures and creations – inanimate, plant, animal and human.

 On wine and grape juice:

ברוך אתה יי אלהינו מלך העולם, בורא פרי הגפן

Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha-Olam Borei Pri Ha-Gafen.
Blessed are You, H’, our G-d, Sovereign of the Universe, Who creates the fruit of the vine.

For all fruits from permanent trees, such as apples, oranges, and peaches, even if these fruits are dried; also grapes, raisins, and all nuts (except peanuts, which are a legume):

ברוך אתה יי אלהינו מלך העולם, בורא פרי העץ

Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha-Olam Borei Pri Ha-Eitz.
Blessed are You, H’, our G-d, Sovereign of the Universe, Who creates the fruit of the tree.

These blessings were written out for me by my dear friend Caroline Isaacs who I co-led the Meditative Seder with.

©Nicole Barchilon Frank